Peace Within, Peace Without, Batch 2

Sometimes, we just need to relax. But we're not always in an atmosphere conducive to relaxation, one where we are inherently comfortable, where things are relatively quiet and still, where we have privacy and control over our space. In public areas or crowded private spaces, or when we've chosen to strand ourselves at a festival or somewhere far from home in strange physical or mental regions, it is sometimes necessary to create a personal atmosphere inside ourselves, and then use our inner atmosphere to affect or reconcile what is outside. And occasionally, even when what is around us is all in line and we should be able to settle down, we just can't for some internal reason. We're stressed out, anxious, and can't connect with what's happening around us. We need a little push to set the balance right again. I make a tincture called “Peace Within, Peace Without”, that puts a comforting weight on me, that causes me to pause, and helps me achieve balance within, so that I can find that balance without. I like it very much, and the process by which I created it is interesting as well.

In many ways, it has taken many years for me to quietly discover the ingredients for this brew. Some, including lavender and rosemary, I have liked since I was a young adult and first began to enjoy cooking and drinking tea and smelling things with a more analytical gusto. Lavender has long been touted for its relaxing properties, and I found that I liked herbal teas that included this herb, but it took a while for me to figure why I liked smelling and eating rosemary so much. As it turns out, it helps even out my mood while at the same time lifting me up. The other three ingredients in “Peace Within, Peace Without” were introduced to me by my long-time girlfriend, who has for most of her life looked with an unassuming and practical eye to herbal medicines, a healthy habit impressed upon her by her mother during her youth in Jamaica and reinforced in her young adulthood by the difficulty we have found with obtaining affordable health care. I would watch, skeptical, as she boiled mint or ginger to ease specific ailments or simply to head off an unhealthy feeling. A few years later, ginger has become something I consume daily during most of the year, and now I grow two kinds of mint in my garden for mostly medicinal use. Seeking a gentle way to help stabilize her mood, she sought out remedies at a tea shop, and stumbled upon linden, which has become one of my personal favorites.

 

When I began making herbal tinctures in the fall of 2010, I turned to some of these herbs for a potion that I felt would have vague associations like “Horizontal,” “Rooting,” and “Disintegrating.” My first few blends were very coarse experiments. I had no experience with this kind of thing, and had no real idea of proportion. I didn't measure herbal quantities, and was really just throwing together herbs I thought to have similar effects and pouring vodka over them (It really is that easy to begin making potions, upstart magicians! Care and intention are the most important qualities!). That early tincture contained Cayenne, Rosemary, Linden Flower, Chamomile & Apple Pieces (both from a few tea bags of a Celestial blend), Ginger, and Cinnamon. It was a complicated mix, and its effects were broad and varied, as evidenced by its sigil. The cayenne and cinnamon seemed to pull my body in one direction while the chamomile, linden, and rosemary pulled me in another. I quickly learned to respect the power of the herbs themselves; I was surprised by the potency of my first potions. By repeatedly tasting this tincture, I began to isolate tastes and effects that seemed to come from each. But harmony was wanting, and there was certainly much room for improvement.

Sigil from 'Horizontal'

A year later, I was able to choose and blend Mint, Rosemary, Lavender, Linden (flower & leaf), and Ginger in a balancing cure-all, dubbed “Peace Within, Peace Without.” From the notes to Batch 1: “The mixture of herbs is designed to balance body and mind, with some affecting mostly visceral elements of person [Linden Leaf, Ginger, Mint] and some affecting mostly ephemeral [Linden Flower, Rosemary, Lavender].” This was a great success, and I experimented with the blend as an herbal tea as well.  You can tell from the sigil how orderly and balanced the mixture was this time! 

Sigil from Batch 1

Batch 2 is contains vodka and:

Mint (16g) – I used dried leaves purchased at Nick's International Foods, a Mediterranean shop near my home in Richmond that has a great selection of affordable spices and herbs. This common garden, cooking, and medicinal herb has been used for hundreds of years to calm ailments of the stomach and reduce fevers. It is so gentle on the body and has such a cool, pleasant aroma and taste that it is often used to mask unpleasant flavors in medicines, and a vast amount of foods, beverages, and other products contain mint's essential oil for flavoring purposes.

Rosemary (16g) – I used dried leaves harvested from the learning garden at the Neighborhood Resource Center of Greater Fulton Hill, a community center where I work. I have found that rosemary helps stabilize mood by reducing cerebral anxiety and lifting my spirits. But it has been used for centuries to improve memory, and according to Wikipedia, contains large quantities of anti-oxidants. The free encyclopedia also revealed that rosemary has been used in charms and divination having to do with love, and was said to deter nightmares and witches. Anemic persons should use extracted rosemary with care, as it may interfere with iron absorption.

Lavender (16g) – I used dried flowerbuds purchased from Carytown Teas. Lavender soothes and relaxes my mind. Even the smell reduces my anxiety immediately. Many people make a tea with it to treat headaches and sleeping disorders such as insomnia. It can be used to treat insect bites and burns, though those with sensitive skin may have an adverse reaction to the concentrated extract.

Linden (16g Flower, 4g Leaf) – I purchased the flower from Carytown Teas. The leaf comes from a bag purchased at the same shop last year that contained leaves and flowers still attached to twigs from French trees near where the shop owner was visiting. The bag I most recently bought contains both leaf and flower. The tea shop purported that the flower is a valuable mood stabilizer, especially effective for women. I have found that linden flower helps reduce anxiety and depression. The leaf is an expectorant, and promotes digestive health. Linden is used in herbal treatments that utilize sweating, for some respiratory issues, and occasionally as an anti-spasmodic or sedative.

Ginger (16g) – I used the raw root found in most grocery stores, finely chopped directly before steeping. Ginger may be my favorite ingestable substance. I love its taste and the way it makes me feel. I find that it increases digestion and circulation, and has mild stimulant properties, especially in concentrated forms (tea, tincture). It also seems to reduce some interior pains, such as sore throat or stomach. I use it to help clear and cleanse my sinuses, throat, blood and digestive system, and as an alternative to other stimulants like sugar and caffeine.

On May 29^th, 2012, I placed these ingredients in these quantities in a glass cannister and poured around 800ml of vodka over them.

Dry Mix, before adding vodka

On June 14^th, I filtered and bottled the tincture using my french press and a coffee filter, yielding 725 ml of dark reddish-brown extract.

The brew before filtering on 6/14/12

Filtering: liquid is forced through the french press
and poured through a coffee filter into a beaker

This bottle traveled to the inaugural Free Form Festival and to Transformus 2012, and was well met by friends new and old. I take it out around Richmond-town as well sometimes, and dole it out in my own kitchen, of course.

Batch 2: Bottled with Sigil

Pouring myself a 30ml dose, I am inundated with the soft floral scent of “Peace Within, Peace Without.” it travels through my sinuses up to the top of my head, and I can't help but smile at the familiar effects. Holding the first sip in my mouth, it prickles my tongue to a surprising degree, with a bit of numbness left over after swallowing. The taste (described by some detractors as “shampoo-ey”) is intensely herbal and astringent, leaving the mouth slightly cool from the mint. As I feel the brew start to slowly work its way through my stomach lining, I exhale, feeling by shoulders gain weight. I pick up less of my musculature with each inhalation now, and my head is beginning to hum a bit with rosemary, linden, and lavender. I am more conscious of my surroundings and my movements, and my mind, which was muddled and full of thoughts, worries, and music, is so suddenly clear that I have trouble imagining how I used to think minutes ago. Several sips in, an exhalation sparks a wave of tingly relaxation that starts in my shoulders and throat and sweeps down over my body to my toes. I pause, realizing how tense I have been, recently, even though I was just congratulating myself on my easy state only a half an hour ago. When the breeze comes through my open window, I can feel the hot, damp air interact with the cooler, drier air in my kitchen, creating eddies of interaction that I feel as they are pushed and flattened against my skin. The astringent aftertaste serves to remind me that I still have tincture to drink. So, as goodbye, I tip my cup to you, saying, as I do when preparing people for a first taste: “peace within, peace without!”

Familiar Teeth

There are moments
when our dogs,
bred loyal, dumb and different,
remember what it was
         to be wolf:
         to swallow the moon
         as clever regal one.

The motley pack then awakens,
passing the alarm
through house, yard and street,
horrible wholeness alight again
         in shining eyes,
         whining and scrabbling frantic
         for the fenceless, lonesome wild.

For these moments,
we masters and conquerors
remember being weak, hunted and afraid;
we frown and scold our pets
         with ancient fear,
         knowing innate with what tenuousness
         we temper the bold strength of predators.

Water Ways

From my bald perch,
the woody giant made
small by isolation,

          I saw them rise vaporous
          from deep holes and
          mossy coves in wrinkled earth,

Where, resting damp,
their dark forms had descended
even into my breath.

         They rose steaming
         on sun-strings tugged

         taut by day's bright puppeteer:

Towering sky-bison,
worried by insistent zephyrs
and marching east.

         High and mighty,
         the fractured herd took
         each peak in heavy stride,

While below, in shadows
and footprints, I bathed in
their cast-off cool, collected.

         Later, when I returned
         to my low home on land
         slipping sidelong into the sea,

I welcomed their bleeding bulk,

whipped by wind
'til wet and weeping,

         Welcomed weary travelers,
         fresh from the endless
         expanse of air,

Now content to
set again and soak into
this skin of city soil.

Ember Days

We made our own stars tonight
          and sent them beyond the tops
          of trees, interposing, in the sky's ancient
          melodies, our own garish counterpoint
          until those bold and distant suns
          became as grace notes in a symphony of small fires.

Then, content with our shifting constellations,
          we created a new cosmology
          in mud and ash
          and made our heroes dance
          with demons, writhing like oracles
          through the smoke rings and columns.

Tomorrow, the flaming chariots will crash
          quietly into the fields and valleys,
          and when the moon goes dark
          we will look again to the old stories
          carved stark and shining into the roof of the world.

But this time,
          our young gods will walk with us
          into the shadows of the tried and true
          and out into the clear light of day.

Lady Grey Limoncello

Limoncello is an Italian liqueur produced by extracting the oils of lemon zest in alcohol and adding simple syrup. It has been used in cooking and served chilled as a dessert or after-dinner digestive aid in Italy, where it has been reputedly made for centuries by the people of the Sorrentine Peninsula, south of Naples. I stumbled on recipes for this beverage a few years ago, when I was trying to find a way to use pounds of citrus that would have otherwise gone to waste. My initial experiments with extracting flavorful oils from lemon, orange, and lime peels met with limited success as additives to mixed drinks, but they were too harsh to be used otherwise. My first true limoncellos, where I added simple syrup and sometimes extracted herbs with the lemon zest, impressed me with their complex aromas, beautiful presentation, and nuanced production. So when a friend of mine visited Italy with her family, I asked her to bring me back a sample of the truly Italian stuff for comparison.
 
In the regions of Italy that produce limoncello, each family has their own recipes, which they constantly tweak towards their personal ideas of sweet lemony perfection. They take pride in cultivating and processing lemons, and choose fruit for limoncello processing based on rigorous standards. The flavor of limoncello can also differ based on what kind of grain alcohol is used as a base, how much pith remains with the zest after the skins are processed, how long the zest is set in the alcohol, how much simple syrup is used, and even at what temperatures the alcohol and syrup are combined. You can find a simple recipe and description of limoncello here:

http://www.ricksteves.com/plan/destinations/italy/limoncello.htm

My friend brought me back a small glass bottle (50ml) of limoncello made in Agropoli by Antiche Fattorie Cilentane, which has a web presence here:

http://www.fattoriecilentane.com/eng_index.htm

Their limoncello was incredibly smooth, with a very fine, whitish-yellow color. The sugars seemed to hang like stars in the liquid. Its aroma tickled my nose, and smelled sweetly of divine citrus florals. When I tasted it, the flavor rocketed immediately to my sinuses and head, and the alcohol spread slowly from my syrupy throat down to my stomach and out from there. They listed the alcohol content as 30% on the label, and I only felt a little buzzed after 25 ml, with most of the effect bubbling through my head at a high, sugary velocity.

Antiche Fattorie Cilentane label from the bottle I drank

Since I sampled this true Italian limoncello, I have created several herbal blends of my own. My limoncello tends to be a higher alcohol content than is traditional in Italy, and of course I shove all kinds of other plant matter into the extracting alcohol to get various flavors and effects. Some of my limoncellos, like my Lavender Limoncello and Double Lemon Limoncello, are simple and refreshing tributes to the Italian beverage. But some, like my Medicine Maker Limoncello, are more powerful and complex tinctures designed for specific effects, and are similar in potency to my other magic potions. I made a batch of Lady Grey Limoncello this season, which serves as an example of this more potent variety.

Batch 1 of my Lady Grey Limoncello, made in August-October 2011, served as an important personal milestone for several reasons. It was my first attempt at extracting caffeine, something in which I was interested but was also unsure about. Additionally, I experimented with a kind of sigil that allowed me to create a bright image while still using the beautiful color of limoncello to great effect. I wanted to combine the sweet clarity of limoncello with the citrus florals of Lady Grey Tea blends, which have long been my favorites. Batch 1 was a great success, very pleasant and simulating, with a clear buzz that lasted for hours. My notes stated that “the flavor of [this limoncello] speaks of mind: the tea extract mixes well with the sugar and lemon to give a sustainable, comfortable rush.”

Notes from Batch 1

Batch 2 contains alcohol, sugar, and water, along with:

Lemon Zest (78g)- In making limoncello, it is important to choose lemons that have not been sprayed with pesticides or other surface additives, since the beverage requires the outermost portion of the skins. I shop around for organic lemons, and if I'm lucky and there is more than one variety of these, I choose based on smell and skin quality. The lemons for this batch came from Ellwood Thompson's grocery here in Richmond, VA.

Black Tea (20g)- I took Carytown Tea's advice and used their Keemun black tea, which has a somewhat fruity and piney aroma. Keemun is grown in China and has been the base tea for English Breakfast blends for quite some time.

Orange Zest (17g)- Again, I needed organic oranges because I'm extracting from the skins. Again, these came from Ellwood Thompson's. Lady Grey tea blends usually contain dried citrus peels from oranges and lemons, though the popular Twinings variety uses the more bitter and flavorful Seville oranges.

Lavender (6g)- I used dried flowerbuds purchased from Carytown Teas. Lavender soothes and relaxes my mind. Even the smell reduces my anxiety immediately. Many people make a tea with it to treat headaches and sleeping disorders such as insomnia. It can be used to treat insect bites and burns, though those with sensitive skin may have an adverse reaction to the concentrated extract. Lavender is an optional additive to Lady Grey tea blends.

Lemongrass (6g)- I purchased some dried and chopped leaves from Carytown Teas for this blend.  Lemongrass is popularly used in cooking and drank as an herbal tea.   It is high in antioxidants and is said to be an excellent detoxifier.   Some people use it to treat anxiety or insomnia as well.  Lemongrass is not typically added to Lady Grey blends, but I could not resist its citrus aroma and character.

Bergamot Oil (6 drops)- An essence of Bergamot oranges (grown traditionally in Italy) is used to flavor Earl Grey and Lady Grey tea blends. The essential oil is also used in perfume and massage blends. I found that it certainly added to the Lady Grey character of my limoncello, though the oil did not mix well with the rest of the liquid. It remained as tiny separate drops, and had more effect through the nose than through the mouth.

On May 24^th, I zested the lemons and oranges. When making limoncello, most people try and avoid the pith, the white part of the peel, and try and harvest only the colored, oil-rich part on the outside, known as the zest. Many people I know use a sharp knife to separate the zest from the pith, but I use a carpenter's rasp to scrape off the zest until I meet with the pith. I find that I get more out of each citrus fruit this way, and it is already finely chopped, which aids in the extraction process. I found that citrus has a tendency to remove the oil protecting the rasp.  I don't want just any oil in my beverage, so I washed the machine or tool oil off of the rasp when I first bought it and replaced it with food-grade and taste-neutral safflower oil, which I reapply after each zesting to keep my rasp from rusting. I also find that the zest tends to cling to the rasp blades, and I use a toothbrush to brush the harvested zest into a container for mixing.

Zesting the Lemons

Then, I added the lavender and lemongrass to the orange and lemon zest, poured 500ml of 151 proof grain alcohol over the whole mess and placed the sealed container in a cabinet to soak. I used a higher proof alcohol for this limoncello because I wanted the resultant liquid to be a reasonable alcohol percentage, even after the addition of simple syrup. The resultant limoncello in this case ends up being 45% alcohol by volume. I have my father to thank for this particular insight: he makes a very strong, clear limoncello on occasion that is quite pleasant in the afternoon or evening.

With no skins, my citrus was sure to rot quickly, so I promptly made delicious lemonade that same day!

On June 8^th, I reopened the jar, which was by that point bestowed with a rich reddish-brown hue, and filtered the contents using my french press and a coffee filter. In this way I yielded 400ml of cleanly extracted goodness. I made a quantity of simple syrup by combining equal parts water and sugar in a pot and heating (not boiling) the liquid until the sugar was completely dissolved. Generally, I add simple syrup to my limoncellos in a 2:1 ratio: for every 2 parts alcohol-and-extracted-zest I add 1 part simple syrup. I suspect this ratio adds much less simple syrup than is traditional in Italian limoncello, but I like mine to have more of a kick, and when there are herbals, I like for their effects to be felt strongly as well. But with Lady Grey Limoncello, I use a 3:2 ratio of alcohol-and-extract to simple syrup because the tea extract is very bitter. Thus, I added around 266ml of warm simple syrup to 400ml of room temperature alcohol-and-extract. Finally, I added bergamot oil, drop by drop, until I felt that the aroma and flavor was right, and placed the combined fluid in the refrigerator to chill.

Filtered Limoncello with Simple Syrup Added

Limoncello blends over time, and is generally left to sit for several weeks after simple syrup is added. I find that keeping the brew chilled helps my limoncellos to get to a smoother mixture. And then, when I want to taste some, it is already cold, which is how I like to present my limoncello for tasting anyway. On June 14^th, I placed a label and sigil on the already chilled bottle, knowing that the taste of the brew would continue to mature as I slowly drank or shared the contents of the bottle, keeping it chilled as much as possible. For this style of sigil, I use white out to create shapes on the glass that I can then color with markers. Each color corresponds to an ingredient, but the color of the brew itself lends a special character to the magic of limoncello, so I generally try and feature the color of the liquid as part of the ritual magic on each bottle.

Sigil and Bottle for Batch 2

I took this bottle to the inaugural Free From Festival in New Jersey this past June, shared it at my home in Richmond, VA, and carried it to Transformus in July. I used it sometimes to keep me awake during the long festival nights, and sometimes as a pleasant afternoon beverage for sipping. Most found the flavor impressive in its complexity, and its effects overwhelmingly positive and uplifting. Now, in August, but a finger remains at the bottom of the bottle.

As I pour myself a chilled 30ml dose, I notice how the bottle has become sticky from the brew's sugary residue, and possibly also the bergamot oil. The oil collects in globules near the surface of my liquid, and creates a greenish ring around where the limoncello contacts my serving container. The smell is sweet and citrus-y, and jumps quickly into the sinuses and brain, inducing some pleasant stimulation up there. With the first sip held in my mouth, I can feel the alcohol and tea as distinct sensations, a crowd of gently prodding phenomena on my tongue, gums, and jaw. The liquid feels a bit filmy, and the burn as it goes down comes as a bit of a surprise. After the fluid hits my stomach, I can smell more of the aroma in my nose and sinuses. It is indeed a complicated mixture of citrus, progressing into nuanced lavender and lemongrass notes. The tea flavor lingers in my mouth, seeming to coat my tongue and cheeks with cooling wriggliness. I can already feel the caffeine and sugar working their way into my bloodstream, making me smile and feel a bit lighter, plucked by the top of my brain and lifted bubbling into the aether. Licking my lips, I get strong, sweet notes of lemon and subtly, of orange, not the least of which must be the potent bergamot. Looking into the sigil, I am impressed with its ability to resemble both a face staring, wide-eyed into new light, and its ability to represent a rising sun tempered by pools of darker liquid, dripping into an energetic, citrus core. When I burp, the citrus and sugar rise again to my head, and a buzzing spreads from the topmost point of my skull down around my cranium. I am ready to dance, discuss, run, to engage intelligently and a bit frenetically with the world around me. Minutes after finishing my drink, stimulants are pumping through my system. I find it difficult to stay still, and my vision is finely interwoven with little particles of energetic brightness. This one is certainly here to stay!

The Robin

A Robin sits

        in a rotten tree

                  and sings.

“Where

        will I sleep

                  tonight?”

 “With me!”

        “With me!”

                  the others cry,

And even though it's

        “Who,” not “Where,”

                  he does not care.

“Who” is “How”

        and “Why,” at least,

                  so without

“What”

        or “Where”

                  he must be satisfied.

The Watcher

I look too much to the past.

all my actions seem too late or mad,

shouting in the park
                              surrounded by ghosts.

They keep their distance,

locked on dazed trajectory,

and they will not be touched,

disappearing angrily
                             at unwelcome contact.

Yes, they rocket through my world,

surprised that it is not theirs only,

embarrassed at my shining gaze and

                                                     broken grin.

This wry face knows what they are,

though some still pretend to live and breathe,

the death confined to the eyes

and to the pallor
                        of flying feet.

I am the watcher: the wincing reminder

that pain cannot always be hidden

with the luxury of
                          a mask.

Knives in their backs, hot pokers in their eyes,

my stubborn existence pulls at their knotted hearts,

all bitter ends unruly tangled,

nerves firing incoherent
                                  in the scar tissue surrounding.

Riding North on I-95

A crowd of monstrous giraffes

strips leaves off the World Tree.
Their hot black tongues lie folded
and twisted across the earth,
          Seething snapshots on every atlas page.

Saliva glistens on the spent branches,
slides down to the poison the roots.
Some boils away, becoming rain,
soaking the earth in slippery spit,
          Each ditch a pestilent runnel of ropy sputum.

The hills groan beneath their weight,

too many wrapped too tight.
Dirt bulges and spills
where they cut and cross.
           Our history: these rocky scars like fallen monuments.

We live on the rat-king knot-nexus,

plague fleas sucking at open sores.
Black blood rises, but we can only
vomit this petroleum pus,
           Our cities an infection carved into struggling flesh.

Which open throat do we face,

toxic cud belching from below?
Who can tell with so much pressing flesh
and so many open jaws,
          Rows of white teeth rotting in the graveyard hills.

Feelin' Groovy, Batch 3

I have a habit of appropriating words like “tincture” or “sigil” and allowing their meanings to evolve from what most people know into what I want them to be. Over time, and among strangers, it sometimes feels like I'm barely speaking English. A tincture for most people is an antiquated term referring to a single substance concentrated through alcohol extraction. When you go to the hippie grocery or nutrition store for tincture, you get a single concentrated substance designed to be added to water or tea. But my tinctures are magical mixtures of substances, and can often be drank straight, because I use vodka instead of the more efficient and powerful alcohols in higher proportion. And then there's all this talk about sigils and magical process, which for me even differs somewhat from the chaos magic theory that inspired much of it. So oftentimes, when I'm offering someone one of my tinctures, it is difficult to explain quite what it is I want them to drink. Especially if I'm offering a recreational brew, dressed in a ridiculous costume, or there's a line of interested weirdos waiting to try a sample, I start referring to my herbal-alcohol-extractions as magic potions, to save time. With something like the tincture I finished yesterday, the third batch of a tincture I first created in 2011 called Feelin' Groovy, the phrase “magic potion” makes perfect sense.

Most of my tinctures, Feelin' Groovy among them, are designed to augment a few hours of experience, not as medicine. The line is blurry, because each of these magic potions contains powerful herbal extracts that can do wonderful things when applied medicinally. There is very little chance that they will harm you, and they may even help something. And some of my “recreational” brews act quite medicinal. One, called “Peace Within, Peace Without,” can be administered to calm and purify the body and mind, especially if the user is having a bit too much fun and wants to relax for a bit. But even Peace Within, Peace Without is mostly designed for a good time. I'm not a doctor, or even a specialist in herbal medicine, so I don't like to act like one. Whatever successes I've had with brews like my Sinus Tincture, which is applied medicinally, I am always aware that what works for me may not work for someone else. I AM confident in my ability to make awesome legal drugs to put in your face, however. And Feelin' Groovy is a great example of that skill.

Feelin' Groovy based on a recipe I found on the website for the Blue Ridge School of Herbal Medicine. Check out their “combinations” here: http://www.blueridgeschool.org/combinations.htm . They suggest that their collection of herbs, including St. John's Wort, Lemon Balm, Kava Kava, Spikenard Berries, and Lavender “elevates mood without affecting clarity of thought.” I have found that my Feelin' Groovy tincture does tend to elevate mood, creating a warm tingly feeling throughout the body that is quite pleasant, and lifting a somewhat leveled mind to explore the world around it with new openness. But my brew does not leave clarity unaffected. In fact, it can increase clarity where cloudiness persists. When given to a new friend who had been enjoying himself so much (with a non-alcoholic substance) that he could no longer speak or focus well, Feelin' Groovy cleared his addled brain in a way that allowed him to communicate effectively, but did not nullify or reduce his altered thought processes. Several users, myself included, have even experienced mild visual hallucinations (lines wiggling, closed-eye patterns) after taking just Feelin' Groovy. The general reaction, after recovering from the experience of drinking this surprisingly bitter liquid, is all smiles and swaying and wiggling. Groovy indeed.

Feelin' Groovy contains alcohol and water, plus:

St. John's Wort (60g)- I used a powder derived from the flowers and leaves, purchased from Carytown Teas. This herb has been widely recognized as an antidepressant comparable with pharmaceutical varieties, though according to Wikipedia, studies have shown that St. John's Wort generally has less side effects than the pharmaceuticals. I find that it provides a stabilizing effect on my mood, leveling me out somewhere in the “smiling gently” range. But for some people St. John's Wort backfires, increasing anxiety. Care must be taken when combining St. John's Wort with MAOIs, psychadellic drugs (including MDMA), opiods, triptans, amphetamines and 5HT agonists. Combinations could release more serotonin than you want released, which can cause big problems (and sometimes death!). St. John's Wort also reacts with some other medicines, including oral contraceptives and cholesterol-reducers, making these drugs less effective.

Lavender (30g)- I used dried flowerbuds purchased from Carytown Teas. Lavender soothes and relaxes my mind. Even the smell reduces my anxiety immediately. Many people make a tea with it to treat headaches and sleeping disorders such as insomnia. It can be used to treat insect bites and burns, though those with sensitive skin may have an adverse reaction to the concentrated extract.

Kava Kava (30g)- Carytown Teas provided me with a high-quality powder from the lateral root of this plant. Kava is used socially in many Polynesian traditions for its relaxing and mildly euphoric effects. I find that it sedates me a bit while increasing my amicability. I also find that Kava makes playing music extra satisfying, in part because I am relaxed and it is easier for me to slip into a trance-like focus. Avoid drinking heavily and taking Kava Kava, because this herbal can increase liver problems damage caused by alcohol.

Verveinne (Verbena) (15g)- I used dried leaves purchased from Carytown Teas. Verveinne imparts a wonderful flavor when added to just about anything. It contains high levels of anti-oxidants, and has many uses specific to women (for example, it has been known to increase lactation).

Lemon Balm (15g)- I used a tincture extract purchased from Ellwood Thompson's grocery. Lemon Balm calms me and creates an uplifting feeling when consumed in tea or tincture form. It has a beautiful aroma and flavor. The fluid from freshly crushed leaves can be used as a mosquito repellant. It is high in anti-oxidants, and is reputedly anti-bacterial and anti-viral. I try not to use herbals that are already in extractions, the idea being that the herbs can mix and extract together in the alcohol, but the herbal suppliers in Richmond have a hard time getting fresh or dried lemon balm. This year I planted some in my garden, which I will eventually use in Feelin' Groovy Batch 4!

On May 1^st, I combined these ingredients in a jar and poured alcohol over them. I wanted to yield close to a liter of tincture, so I needed to use two jars for this. I put equal quantities of the dry herbals into each jar, and mixed them. Then I added the lemon balm tincture and poured in 900 ml of 40% alcohol (Wolfschmidt Vodka), again split between the two jars. I mixed the two jars heavily, making sure that the powders became saturated in the alcohol, and placed them in my cabinet.

The two jars were shaken regularly over the course of a month. On June 4^th, I opened the jars and began the filtering process.

Because of the powdery nature of Kava Kava and St. John's Wort, the solid waste in Feelin' Groovy compacts easily and I cannot force very much liquid through my french press. Thus, I poured the brew carefully through cheesecloth. When around 3 tablespoons of herbal matter collected on the surface of the cheesecloth, I would carefully create a bundle and squeeze this small amount of solids over a coffee-filtered beaker before discarding the chaff. The finer particles that passed through the cheesecloth occasionally gummed up my coffee filters as well. When this happened, I would carefully remove the old filter, bundle it and its solid herb matter, and squeeze it gently over a new coffee filter.

In this fashion I used three coffee filters and was able to yield 600ml of fine liquid extract over a 3 hour period.

Feelin' Groovy is an extremely bitter extract. I found that around a quarter of the people who tried the brew at the Fall 2011 Playa del Fuego festival were put off severely by the taste or could not drink it without heavily watering it down. So to allow the user to better appreciate the flavor of this tincture, I water it down a bit from the get-go. This time, I added 250 ml of water, meaning that the end product is around 28% alcohol by volume.

I wanted to give a small bottle as a gift to a friend who provides me with bottles from time to time, and who is generally very interested in my tinctures. So in addition to the large corked bottle which once contained Batch 2, I poured the completed tincture into a smaller corked bottle with a rounded face.

The label for this smaller bottle proved to be a bit of a challenge, given the complex nature of Feelin' Groovy's sigil and the size and shape of the bottle. But I think it worked out quite well. Feelin' Groovy's sigil is indicative of those that appear on most of my tinctures. Batch 1, created in May 2010, was among the first of my tinctures to be sigiled in this fashion. From the notes to Batch 1: “Each color represents an ingredient. [The] sigil explores and evokes ingredients interacting with each other and communicates intentions to” whomever drinks this magic potion.

Notice that in Batch 2, I added Verveinne for the first time, and so I added a new color to the evolved design.

The final sigil for Batch 3 is a slightly different manifestation of the design and colors, mediated by time, place, and the individuality inherent in this batch of herbs. I tasted the batch before settling down to sigil the fresh labels. I used the sigil for Batch 2 as a guide, though I never look directly at an old sigil while I decorate a new one. A sigil on a new batch is not a copy of a sigil on an old batch. I listened to Jimmy Cousins' “Jazz June,” to Kenny Rogers and the First Edition's first album and to Fern Knight's album while ritually decorating each bottle. I started with brown (St. John's Wort), decorating both bottles with each color before moving onto the next so that the design and sigils were finished at around the same time. This process took about 90 minutes.

Pouring myself a two-tablespoon dose of Feelin' Groovy, I can already smell the Lavender, Verveinne, and Lemon Balm. Upon deeper smelling, there is also a grainy and astringent scent poking up through the alcohol. I take a sip and the kava kava immediately begins to numb my lips and tongue. Bitter! I swallow the first mouthful, which drops into my stomach as I make a face. The bitter flavor lingers, but after the liquid goes down I can notice the floral flavors again. A slight tingling spreads slowly from my mouth, esophagus and stomach. I find myself already starting to sway a little bit. My muscles and mind relax a bit, and I feel lighter already. A second sip. No faces this time: I'm ready for the taste (and a bit numbed, I'm sure!). I can feel the alcohol burn as I swallow. My head begins to tingle, right behind the hairline on my forehead. More tingles spread from the base of my neck and over the top of my skull. My attention drifts to the periphery, where the force of my typing is creating ripples in the Feelin' Groovy still inside the bottle. As I type, I am accutely aware of how the force of pounding out each word bounces around inside the glass. I can almost hear it: a visual form of audio reverb.

I burp. It tastes very flowery, and I relax even more into the chair. I feel a bit heavier as my muscles relax and settle. I close my eyes for a moment, slow shivers emanating from the space between my shoulder blades. Today I was feeling a bit low, what with the cloudiness and my being a bit sick, but I feel very calm and clear now. I am aware of the things that have made me anxious of late, but they are not affecting my mental or physical posture right now. Right now I feel, well, groovy. After downing the last swallow, I stop to regard the sigil in detail again. I can see how the flower-like shapes represent the growing, slow-bubbling nature of this brew, how ideas bleed slowly into each other and exist in a bright and wiggly space. I smile. The spaces between or outlined by different shades hold my attention longer than the shapes themselves. Colors are brighter everywhere I look, and I am more attuned to the way the light hits a wall, and to a sound that has all of a sudden stopped, revealing more and more of those little things that fill the airspace and for the most part, go unnoticed.

Dogwood in Bloom

Some cold January night
The park must have had a stroke,
For this tree has grown back white,
The shock of blossoms an end decreed,
Stunted and quiet,
Still in spring's riot,
Death amid the towering green see.

But what's this?

There's blood still in this flesh
And what seemed a carrion cloud of flies
Trades life for life in life enmeshed.
Wormy fingers beckon, hanging green
And spin on glittering gilt,
Mad maypoles of silk
To herald tomorrow's white wings.

A Fish's Last Supper

        I have bitten
        and been bitten

        Swallowed
        this cold communion

Your slow dancer


        Sent sliding
        through soft circles

        And settling
        in my sights.

This is the body

        The marionette
        appendage

        New flesh
        surrounding
        your skeletal snare

        The sinew
        struggling and I
        the twitching transplant.

I too will dance

        Strung out
        and stumbling

        'Til the hook
        drags me off

        Belching wine
        with every tortured bow.

This is the blood

        Filling my mouth
        and floating away

        Falling like flowers
        that bloom and decay.

The Body Politic

I am new blood

from an old wound,

scab picked free by nub-nails
bitten anxious.

The flesh swells

but the hole cannot close,
wiped and worried by
loose wires in a nervous System.

A heart pumps

and the crowd surges forward,
spilling over itself
in a mad dash for purpose,

And dumb fingers

dig old graves,
bone straining to reach bone,
all but thwarted by maggot-earth.

The brood swarms

to fill the hole,
shovel and coffin both
seething with agitated life.

I feed the maggots.
I fuel the bone Machine,
pushed by passion made
pressure in confinement.

Within, I shouted escape!

Drying alone now,
spread thin on the battered without.

Sinus Tincture, Batch 2

I began making tinctures of herbal mixtures in the fall of 2010. I had been interested in herbal medicine for quite some time, and had also been looking for more opportunities to experiment with the recreational use of legal chemicals. An upcoming festival, Playa del Fuego, provided the impetus to create something I could share with friends and strangers. All this, combined with a growing interest in ritual magic, contributed to the products I created and the process by which I created them. Twenty months later, I'm ending up with more and more impressive effects from a diverse array of herbal mixtures. My process has become more refined, but it is very much the same as when I made my first batch in September 2010. Today, I am finishing my second batch of a very successful tincture I first created in 2011 as an attempt to deal with my seasonal allergies.

My Sinus Tincture is designed as a daily preventative treatment to be taken before and during the warmest six months of the year, or as a direct response to symptoms like sneezing, coughing, swelling, sinus infection, etc. Ideally, I begin taking my preparations in early March, weeks before the spring equinox, and continue regularly ingesting the herbal brews until early October, a fortnight after the autumnal equinox. This year, I started with the remainder of the last batch, and when I ran out, supplemented with a friend's very effective fire cider (herbs and roots immersed in vinegar and buried for several weeks) while I steeped this batch. I add a healthy dollop of honey produced in a local apiary and a small amount of this potent liquid tincture into fresh brewed ginger tea (diced ginger root boiled until the water takes on color), which I drink every morning with or after breakfast. If my allergies get really bad later in the day, I mix a small quantity of the tincture into a glass of room temperature water and drink it. When I work long days out in somebody's yard, I carry a quantity of this highly dilute solution in case I need it. Applying the brew when symptoms are already present has impressive results. Last year the brew would stop a sneezing fit in its tracks, and clear out my face in under five minutes when taken in this fashion. I also found that the mixture helped improve my circulation and energize my mind and body, which helped me do a better job posing for artists as a figure model for long drawing classes at VCU.

The tincture does help me manage seasonal allergies that would otherwise be debilitating, but it's not a cure-all solution. I also abstain from certain foods and drinks during the warm months, including beer, wine, and ice cream, because they aggravate my allergies. I try and limit my consumption of milk, cheese, and sugar for the same reasons. I wear a dust mask when I do yard work or work directly with plants, and try and shower soon after getting dirty outdoors to keep as much pollen out of my face as possible.  But the process of making the tincture and sigil help me commit to all these seasonal lifestyle changes. The rituals involved keep me aware of my body's needs and allow me to better analyze how I can live healthier. The magical aspect of the process reinforces a deep respect and connection with each substance in the brew. It also reinforces the connection between myself as creator/combiner, the forces/personalities within each substance and with the mixture as a whole, completed entity. Here's how I did it this time:

I chose each substance carefully for what I expected it to contribute. In many ways, this is cumulative process. It began before I created the first batch in May 2011, and will continue into subsequent years. This batch is slightly different from the last one I made. It includes an ingredient I didn't know about last year, and I've refined proportions a little bit. Additionally, the liquid I used to extract and carry the mixture contains a higher percentage of alcohol versus water than last year. This time, I chose:

Ginger- I used the raw root found in most grocery stores, finely chopped directly before steeping. Ginger may be my favorite substance. I love its taste and the way it makes me feel. I find that it increases digestion and circulation, and has mild stimulant properties, especially in concentrated forms (tea, tincture). It also seems to reduce some interior pains, such as sore throat or stomach. I use it to help clear and cleanse my sinuses, throat, blood and digestive system, and as an alternative to other stimulants like sugar and caffeine.

Stinging Nettle- I used dried leaves purchased from Carytown Teas. Stinging nettle has anti-inflammatory and anti-histamine properties, and can apparently be used to treat arthritis. I have found both the tea and tincture made from these leaves helps to open my sinuses and throat, relieving irritation and swelling in my facial tissues.

Mullein- I used dried leaves, bought on recommendation from Carytown Teas. They use it in their allergy tea blends. One can apparently use the flowers to treat ear infections. The leaves are used primarily as an expectorant, helping the body produce mucous and get rid of it through coughing or sneezing. This was my first time using mullein, and I added it to help clear out sinus and throat congestion. The folks at the tea shop cautioned me to use gloves when I handled it, because it can irritate the skin.

Horseradish- I used a powder of the root, purchased from Penzey's Spices. The intense spiciness has been recognized for its ability to quickly clear out clogged or runny noses. The root is quite tasty, and when I can get it fresh, I chop it up and throw it in some vinegar to use on sandwiches. I use its tincture to help clear out sinus congestion quickly.

Cayenne Pepper- I used a powdered version purchased from Nick's International Foods. Known well for its spicy flavor, cayenne is used as a blood cleanser, stimulant, aphrodisiac, and for its supposed ability to improve tissue growth and destroy cancer cells. I find that it is indeed a powerful stimulant in its concentrated forms. I use it mostly to improve circulation, which it does admirably and quickly. Soon after taking a small amount of tinctured cayenne, I can feel my fingers and toes tingle. These circulation benefits combine with the pepper's natural spiciness to help clear out my sinuses.

On April 23^rd, I combined these ingredients in a jar and poured alcohol over them. I tried to use around the same amount of each ingredient in the mixture. This means that while I used one ounce each of Stinging Nettle, Mullein, Horseradish Powder and Cayenne Pepper, I used two ounces of Ginger, since it was not dried in any way. I mixed the powders together and placed them in a canister, followed by a mixture of the leaves and the diced Ginger root. I further mixed the dried contents in the canister. Then I poured in around 465 ml of 75.5% alcohol (Everclear) and around 300 ml of 40% alcohol (Wolfschmidt Vodka, which I find to be reasonably priced and very “clear” in taste), making a total of around 765 ml of around 60% alcohol. I find that when extracting herbals, it helps to have significant amounts of water in the liquid, because some substances may be destroyed completely in an environment that is almost entirely alcohol. That's really just hearsay and assumption on my part though, I don't know the chemistry! I also find that a significant amount of water in the liquid mixture helps keep the end product less concentrated, and therefore more easily doled out in reasonable doses. I wanted to use a slightly higher alcohol percentage for this batch, because it is not for recreational use, and must be diluted before consuming anyway. I placed the canister in my cabinet and waited about a month, stirring every few days.

Opened canister after 1 month in the cabinet

This morning, May 21^st, I took out the canister and began filtering the contents. First I poured it wholesale into a large french press I have. I poured the liquid filtered in this way through a coffee filter and into a beaker. The french press method never gets out enough liquid for me, but it definitely gets out a lot. I was able to get around 400 ml this time, before opening the press. After this, I scooped out around three tablespoons at a time onto a square of cheesecloth, and squeezed each little sack over the coffee filtered beaker with my fingers. I was able to get an additional 150 ml this way, for a total yield of 550 ml. Where did that other 200 ml go? I think most of it is still in the solid matter I threw away. More serious tincture people have a pneumatic press that squeezes a lot more liquid out of that herb matter than I could possibly do with my bare hands. Some of the alcohol may have also evaporated in the 28 days I steeped the mixture. I do not have very many large, air-tight containers, and I used a canister this time, because my larger jars are full of Feelin' Groovy (don't worry, you'll get a full article on that one later!).

French press and beaker with coffee filter

Cheesecloth wrapped around herb matter

After filtering out the solid waste, I chose bottles to house the tincture. For this mixture, I like to have two bottles. A larger one with a wide mouth stoppered by a cork serves as the mother jar. The neck is big enough that I can stick measuring spoons into it for my morning brews, and the cork wont rust like the jar lid I used last year. I'll have to be careful not to let that stopper soak up the tincture too much though, because alcohol will definitely get up in some cork and tear it apart. The smaller bottle is primarily for traveling, and includes a nifty eyedropper cap. I'm serious about taking this stuff every morning, and this way I can pack it with my toothbrush and stuff. I will also give these smaller bottles to friends who want to try out the magic (Hit me up!).

Sinus Tincture in bottles

Finally, I placed a label on the bottle. The ingredients are listed on each bottle, along with the months in which they were prepared. But most importantly, I place a sigil on each bottle. My sigils are attempts to instill purpose and character into each herbal mixture using ritual magic. They are intended to help the substances mix well with each other, and to focus communication between what's inside the bottle and what's outside the bottle. People who wish to use the tincture have a chance to understand the batch and interact with it through these visual representations before they even open the bottle. I believe that in a very deep, subconscious way, I am reminded of the tincture's purpose and character by viewing the sigil, even when I don't necessarily intend to see it. My body is that much more prepared for ingesting the brew because of that deeper understanding. Each batch has a different sigil, but each mixture has similar sigils. Because this is Batch 2 of the Sinus Tincture, I used the last batch's sigil as a reference point.

Sigils and notes from Batch 1

Before I began placing the sigil, I ate a little snack, and put on some music. I chose wisely what I ate and what music I put on, because each of these “atmospheric” things can have powerful effects on the magical process. I even chose the color of the tape used to fasten the label to the bottle carefully for this reason. I lightly snacked on dried vegetables and fruits because I was hungry, and I didn't want to be distracted by that. I put on a Gato Barbieri record, in case you were wondering. It's been Gato all day long for me, actually. I opened the stopper and smelled the tincture. I looked at the last batch's sigil carefully, reminding myself what it was like, why I chose the colors and designs I did. I also considered what was different then and now, both in my life and with the specific substances involved. When I began to draw on the bottle, I did not look back at the previous sigil, but made my marks based on an internally processed perception of how the sigil for the last batch fits into the present reality. I find that I must leave at least as much of the design to inspiration as I leave to careful thought and planning, and I am always somewhat surprised at the final product. This is good, because it means that something deeply buried within myself or something completely beyond myself went directly into it. In this case, I tried to let the character of this batch come out of the bottle. I tried to let each substance explain to me its purpose and influence, and their unique combination to come through in a compositional whole. I am pleased with the result, and confidant that it effectively accomplishes what I, the batch itself, and my environment designed it to. What do you think about it?

Completed Sinus Tincture with sigils

Today's filtration, bottling, and sigil creation processes took around three hours. Tasting the finished product straight, by dipping my (recently washed) finger into it and licking that same finger, I am astonished by its potency, as I was when I first created this mixture. The intense spicy flavor spreads quickly to the entire mouth, causing pain in the tongue. You cannot take this medicine straight. It will damage your mouth and throat. Even with such a small quantity, I can feel the effects in my brain: a slight stimulant reaction and burst of activity, possibly related to the physical effects of the tincture in my mouth. My face seems to tingle a little, maybe in response to a little bit of the tincture getting into the blood stream and working its way around there. I mix a quarter-teaspoon of the Sinus Tincture into half of a pint of filtered water at room temperature. This is the dosage I used with the last batch. The water turns a very pale green/yellow. Taking sips, the spiciness hits the back of my throat first, and spreads to my tongue and lips. After drinking about a cup of water, my sinuses start to open up, loosening the mucous above my nose. I can feel the tincture in my stomach and feet as the spicy circulatory effects manifest. I feel a little like dancing, my toes wiggling to the pumping rhythms and screaming saxophone. I fart. After finishing my glass, I blow my nose. I can now breathe out of both nostrils (only had the left one online before). The swelling in my right sinus has been reduced, and I feel a little tingly even in my fingers and toes. My head has just a little bit of a stimulating buzz about it.

Well, good: it still works!

Route 6: East Main Street/Montrose Heights

A thousand seamstresses with a thousand blunt needles,
held loosely in wrists spinning weirdly,
crowd the smoke filled break point gaining weight.

Blowing steam and screeching,
frames groaning with effort,
they pitch forward, yarn spun,
and grope along oily guide lines.

We are there too, spooning in swollen gut,
and cannot help but feel what they feel,
lulled by bruises gently commuted
into swaying congregation.

Erstwhile staggered twins,
we are cut from the same cloth,
though some have been mangled by our makers'
capricious and unpracticed hands.

Can you too feel their unsteady pull?

Arthritic engines whose heavy fingers crush
fruit flesh and glass with equal comprehension,
crushing even the fabric they work to mend?

Cobble-sphalt and brick-crete,
poor earth strewn with abandon,
all reduced at their mercy to dust-dye and exhaled.

They coat everything its drab color,
even you and I, exhaled also
onto this motley patchwork
haphazardly sewn over a network of scars.

We follow this heavy-handed stitch
along the frayed edges,
errant threads every one,

And splay outward from each iron spindle,
our loops random, brusquely anchoring
strange to stranger.

Stillborn, we pay to climb back in
and only at the last moment
do we pull our shared umbilical.

The World Is Unbearably Beautiful

I am astounded often.  Sometimes, walking the dozens of feet from my apartment to Clay Abner Park, I will be struck with wonder of an intensity so debilitating as to prevent further movement.  I will stand stock still, arrested by the scent of a cigarette, the wind playing around the corner of a building, the starry dust sprinkled between the mossy stones of the sidewalk.  Lifetimes have been lived there by me under the trees, watching cardinals jump between twigs, their gestures outlining a world's beat in the rubber rhythms from the basketball court.  Frankly, it's a wonder I make it to the park at all, a wonder I don't miss my bus more often, lost at the stop amid the swirling vortex of street sounds and movement, stale piss and sticky sidewalks. 

My mother would say that I was off on Mars when I would finally respond after minutes of trying to get my attention, wouldn't let me out of the back yard for years in fear of me walking into the street with faraway eyes.  But actually, I'm nearsighted.  It's what's right next to me that gets me every time, my metric shrinking and shrinking until the dust motes become asteroids, each one scrawled tightly in ancient script I almost understand, flashing messages to each other as they progress in orbit. 

This is what I want to share with you.  This is why I play music, write poetry, why I love and live.  These things I've created or collected are attempts at communicating overwhelming beauty, so be prepared to be confused, ecstatic, frustrated, or unimpressed.  I hope you are left wanting.  I hope you have questions, I hope you seek out more information and different experiences.  Misunderstand: It's good for you!